Divorce Recovery for Men: The New York Times Just Put Divorce Coaching in the Spotlight. Here’s Why That Matters for Men
- Rene Garcia
- May 25
- 7 min read
Updated: 21 hours ago
Or
In a nutshell: Because your ass has been bamboozled! Men don't recover from divorce like women do, and most of the data regarding divorce is based on women's needs.
When Brianna Holt from New York Times asked to feature me in one of her articles she had a question. On your website you say "Immediate Results", what do you mean by immediate results? My response was as honest as it can get but knowing full well it can get me in trouble if I couldn't back it up but fortunately I could. "When I talk about 'immediate results,' I mean by the end of our first talk. I say this knowing full well how it sounds and I’m not claiming to fix everything in one call but often (in the recovery), the fun part begins. My strategy is to get them in front of their problems and rather than catch up to their problems, I try to get them to leap forward to their present and something inside shifts. Most men walk into that first conversation carrying shame, confusion and a lifetime of fear. They’re exhausted and talking about their problems is difficult enough because they’re not used to it. They feel defeated but they’re not, they just need to regain perspective. By the time we’re done, they feel something they haven’t felt in a while: Hope and empowered.
Imagine going through a divorce alone. Now imagine going through one with someone that's been through 100s of them, consults, and provides you with answers and thinks 3 steps ahead. That's what I do, I coach divorcing men and it's not unlike a pitching coach working with a professional pitcher on his technique and guiding them. I just do it with divorcing men.
This week, the New York Times featured the growing trend of divorce coaching and it’s something MensDivorceCoaching.com has been championing for years. What makes this so unique is that divorce coaching is becoming more mainstream.
The New York Times article highlights how more men are seeking structured guidance through divorce. Not from therapists or lawyers, but from divorce coaches who understand the real-world challenges men face. We as society don't like to talk about our broken heart as a whole. When a man talks about it though, he's a pussy! Our friends would rather hear about a women's period rather than hear about a man's broken heart. But the reality is that when talking about our problems, data has shown that it doesn't make us feel better. It often leaves us scratching an itch until it bleeds, then scars and that's how men end up broken. It's one thing to talk about our problems and another thing to stay in your living hell because that's when you grow bitter.
That's why I became a coach. Rather than having you to talk about the problem and leaving you walking away frustrated after 45 minutes I come with answers and I don't set a stop watch during my sessions. I offer ideas, their pros and their cons, potential pitfalls, plans A, B, or C. Even strategies to get so far ahead of the game that you actually walk out excited about your future, while forgetting about your past.
My goal isn’t for you to survive this chapter of your life. My goal is for you to close that book and write a new one. One so compelling that you won’t even bother opening the last chapter you were on.
While therapy looks backward and law focuses on paperwork, divorce coaching is about forward motion: helping you rebuild your life with clarity, structure, and confidence.
The crazy part? You’ll have fun doing it.
To truly understand what men go through, you have to go through the challenges of divorce. That’s something most therapists don’t focus on. It’s not a “how does that make you feel” or “tell me about your childhood” session. It’s about getting shit done, working with men in a safe, judgment-free environment, while addressing the real issues men face during divorce. When you finish your consultation, you’ll feel better immediately, and I mean during our first consultation. To me, "giving it time" is bullshit. It's the lazy way and unimaginative. As for "focus on yourself", that's another misnomer. We need to "focus on our needs" instead. Divorce and Recovery coaching isn't a cookie- cutter approach and it isn't about modules either, they're about your life, and just like you as an individual, we take an individual approach.
At MensDivorceCoaching.com, we:
✅ Guide you through the divorce process, from strategy to finding an appropriate attorney.
News flash, they're like spicy food, may taste great at first but after you've digested it, you'll regret it.
✅ Maximize shared custody and improving father/child relationship (Focus on your needs).
✅ Rebuild Your Identity as a Newly Single Man (Purpose as a newly single man).
✅ End the Isolation that Crushes Men After Divorce (Loneliness Factor).
If you’re wondering if this is right for you, read the full NYT article or continue reading below: Read Article. Then book a free consult because this is your life, your process and we’re here to help you take the next step forward form A to Z.
Why the New York Times Feature Matters
In divorce, women recover better than men. It's believed that they go through a process of self realization and are faster to adapt to single life. Men on the other hand, stay left behind. In a word, we stonewall. While women search for guidance through different social circles, men are left alone. The New York Times recognizes that men are in need of guidance, that we feel just as much if not more than our ex. After all, 70% of women want the divorce. The New York Times dug into the real story behind divorce coaching for men, why it’s growing, why it’s necessary, and how it’s changing lives.
In the article, I talked about the core difference between divorce coaching and traditional therapy: Therapy is reflective. Coaching is action-focused. Talking with friends or family brings sympathy but all the sympathy in the world won't give you what you're looking for: Answers. Most men don’t have time to sit in therapy for years. We need action. A strategy, a game plan, and real-time guidance to navigate the chaos of divorce. That’s where I come in.
Key Points from the New York Times Article
If you missed the article, here’s what you need to know:
✅ Divorce is more than a legal battle. It’s a personal war that affects your mind, body, self esteem.
✅ Men often spiral in silence. They lose themselves, their edge, and don’t have a clear path forward.
✅ Divorce coaching is the bridge between therapy and law. I’m not here to diagnose you or process your feelings for years. I’m here to get you moving fast, focused, and with a clear plan.
✅ In my coaching program, you get:
A Quality of Life Assessment to map out your current state
A fitness and mental health baseline — because you can’t rebuild without your body in check
A strengths-based growth plan using the Gallup StrengthsFinder to work with your natural talents, not against them
Personal guidance on style, dating, and social confidence. Because you’re not just surviving divorce, you’re stepping back into the world
24/7 access for urgent strategy sessions
Support navigating high-conflict issues like custody battles, restraining orders, and legal strategy
✅ My clients consistently outperform the average divorced man. Not by chance, but by design. In fact, my Quality of Life Survey shows that while the average divorced man scores from 59 to 71, after two years, my clients hit 82 in just six months. That’s what a strategic recovery looks like. That's how effective we are.
Common comments from my clients are "You did the impossible, I'm actually excited about my life" or "Not sure why I feel better so quickly, but I do" "Everything you said was going to happen, happened". There's a reason for that. While human behavior is unpredictable, patterns lead to predictable results and that's what I do. I search for patters; study the ex, study children, judges, attorneys, married and newly single men and their outcome. You're lonely, I get it. But being in a room full of people won't help the loneliness. You need to fill that empty void and that happens when you have guidance, direction, and a plan for where you need to go next.
That’s what I give you.
That’s what I do.
Get off that funk and stop surviving. Life isn't about waiting for the pain to end. It's not about giving it time. It's about building and creating. It's time you begin to thrive, here’s your next step:
👉 Read the full New York Times article here
👉 Watch my latest YouTube video here
👉 Schedule Your Time To Speak (extended hours) coaching here
👉 Join our Facebook Group click here
Look through this site. Read other articles in the "Blog" section, check out my YouTube Channel, reach out with any questions. No selling here, just honest, direct feedback.
As your coach here's what I recommend. Schedule a free and confidential consultation (I extended my hours and it's not a sales pitch, I promise). Once done join our private Facebook group. Watch YouTube videos, and when we speak (through Zoom), be yourself. I'll take care of the rest.
I know that right now you feel defeated. That you're not motivated. That you just want to sleep, escape and reaching out is just too real. You have to take this leap of faith and reach out for help. You'll feel better within 5 minutes of our talk. Don't let this crisis go to waste and don't think about closing this article without taking actionable steps.
Comments